".forbidden sutra.
   .to releaase ur forbidden desires.
      .to explore the forbidden pleasures.
         .to indulge in this mystique forbidden night."
::] this is
::belinda * pei::
::mixed::
::icq 131370672::
::ex-ijtp::
::ex-nypian::
::sim-uol::

EMAIL ME

::] my other bloggies [click on it]
about me
about me2
links
IAP days
me n him

::] addicted

::] past months
my days

::] photos (lastest*)
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*to*be*involved*with*the*most*forbidden*feelings*

the beautiful mistake*

   Wednesday, January 28, 2004
im sick!



   Tuesday, January 27, 2004
You are The Buddha. You respect all life because
of your empathy. Your good childhood did not
blind you from the fundamental flaws inherent
to the material world. You are peaceful, and
ready to enlighten those living of an escape
from this base existance. Someone like you
should try:
http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=Teddy+Bear
What spiritual leader are you.

brought to you by Quizilla

is been rainin the whole day! didnt sleep the whole nite yesterday (as u can see from the previous entry)
but still managed to go over to hockie's place for some gatherin! yinlai, tuck, derek, sean n min.. so
funny! had a really great fun with them though i didnt really play (coz i dun play poker cards)

i broke my vow! i gamble.. argh! is andrew's money.. n i help him won quite alot from just a 10cent!
ok, at least i see the amt of coins increase! consider this as gamble? though i dun gain? i dunno?
of coz, the guys wanted to punch me coz i won and i still sat there quietly.. tuck super funny..
though he still call me a bitch!

left at 8pm, n alex picked me up at newton! wow lao! i was so shocked by the house! so HUGE! garden that
look like golf course, dunno how many mercedes park in the front, huge swimmin pool(not those small ones),
living room that looked like some meetin conference hall; to gek it was like ballroom! even the 'lobby'
vase flowers are taller than me if they were to put on the floor! dinin room, ok lah? just that the sides
look like some studio photo takin sessions... rooms no need to say more lah~ n of coz toilet was the best!
smell so nice! branded hand wash, toilet paper got COLOR!! perfume, hand cream... 2 kitchens? huge white
piano with dunno wat fur carpet??! n fish tank that is like a bath tub to me! me n gek was busy taking
pictures of every part of the house! so damn grand!!! honestly, really like those 5 stars hotels! infact
is SO MUCH BETTER! lookin at my room now, n to tink this is an old flat means much more bigger than the
new ones.. is smaller than her mum's toilet!!! ok, just a little bit bigger.. STILL?! IS BIG!! huge crystals
lights.. wow lao.. something that i would dream of living! ok lah! i still love my room alot! at least
everything is in here!

tokin abt that.. sean said that purple room means sexually depress.. im half pink n purple.. so wat now?!

had a little chat with chad.. catchin up on the past few years.. tok abt r/s n volunteerin work?! quite
a good chat between us than suddenly everyone came back from dunno where?! n i shock someone unknowingly
from my last line.. i also didnt clear myself since it was true anyway..

celebrate alex bd in advance! cindy, gek, sher, chad, elson, me! bbq n later "by luck" (game).. so happy!
sort of say hello to zhen!! ok, thru elson's phone! 1st time feel so empty when zhen's not there.. after
that alex drove us out, went toyzbar, saw teck.. tok alot.. from shows to studies to my investment and
plannin of holidays.. took cab with gek, tok even more! is been quite long since i had some heart to
heart tok with her.

oh ya, not forgettin i wanted to meet pau after alex n go back to hock's hse after that.. but i guess..
i BLAME IT ON THE WEATHER! rainin thru the whole day!! ok, goin back to my lala land liao~ is 8am liao!
n been on the com since 630am once i reach home..

..::||It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye. ||::..



   Saturday, January 24, 2004



War Scarred

Dark and scarred. Your past is hidden by the
overcoming rapid evil.
What Kind of Dark Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

pau came over to pia nian also! watch the 'tv3 jian ke' too! honestly,
after so much episode, can see that taiwan girls hardly got any respect
from the guys.. n it seem like havin sex is so normal? ok maybe it is,
though im still in that traditional thinkin.. but some guys in fact,
is ALL GUYS! say their girls are all sex slaves.. is after so many shows,
it just prove how cheap girls to them are!

i watch liao also feel so ashamed as a girl! so cheap until i nothing to
say! so stupid! really stupid! i now do see the difference of education
n having women rights.. wow.. really have taken for granted! lucky i live
in spore..

alot of violence to their girls.. in fact, out of 10, 9guys beat their
gf up! coz that 1% girl is damn rich! n the guy live on her! now i know
why taiwan variety shows got so many sex jokes on girls.. example, jacky wu,
fei ge, ku guang.. alot are quite insulting.. n all the girls got to just
act blur.. or just smile thru..

got one guy even throw his gf naked outside his car n kick her, slam her
head n all these.. n after some help, the guy just drove off! leaving her
naked on the road!

now i know why their goverment fight also.. uneducated pple... sorry but
to say all these.. maybe it was the wrong choice to have wash their dirty
liner in public.. wow! i feel so chime! sayin "ang mo" idioms.

gosh! anna n the king is so slow n chime! couldnt understand! or perhaps
i gave up watchin halfway! is irritating! ok, im shallow!

anyway, watch the last samurai.. very nice! saw osama in that show!! haha~
nah~ just some guy that dress like him.. oh ya, n i like that bob guy.. he
very cute!

tom: bob, y are u so angry? i know! u are angry because they made u wear
a skirt, thats why u are so angry..

wow lao! buey tahan! laugh like siao.. tom cruise? i dunno.. jus cant stand
long hair guys no matter how good lookin they are..

jiefu so funny! 1st he kept steppin on my bunny slippers, sayin so old liao
still wear! 2nd he was screamin when he ate my hair!! n 3rdly, both ganged
up sayin that my auntie's weighin machine is spolit... of coz lah! the
increase of our weight! my sister is 60kg leh! how can?! she is like 45kg?
even if increase also cannot be so much lah!

ok, will be goin over to pau's hse in the mornin.. than to her auntie's hse,
than to andrew's hse, than to alex's hse to swim! yaya!! if im still in one
piece, i will go over to mdm wong to find pau n com.. have gain 2kgs over
3days! aaahhhhhh!! just kill me! nafa test on 7 feb! double ahhh!!

will be goin over to sarawak in nov.. gettin pple to come over with me?!
flight ticket abt $30.. budget airline! pau will definately be dragged by
me! jiefu wants to go over learn to bake bread! this time, im not goin to
stay in the any of those shops! im goin to find my friends there n bagpack
myself! possible, i will drive without an license!

i got the sms late. but still, i was happy. thanks!


..::|| Trying to forget someone you love is like trying
to remember someone you never knew. ||::..



   Thursday, January 22, 2004
You are most like
Tom Bombadil

Though not in the movie (unfortunately), Tom helps the hobbits cast off their concerns for a while. He radiates warmth and festivity.
You are expressive and good at improvisation. You have a contagious humor and joy of living. Social interaction energizes you. The more people the merrier. You have good observational skills. While providing compassion and being considerate, you may have the tendency of being soft-hearted or even "too emotional" You like keeping your options open. Closure is probably not one of your strong suits.

Like Boromir, you are not content to sit on the sidelines while the action takes place around you.

Traits: Open minded, easy going, persuassive, optimistic about the future. On the dark side you could be exploitative and an opportunist.


take the LOTR test here



came across this... tot it was really nice.


am tired...
who wants to feel this way...
who wants to give their heart out and have to watch love fade away...
why should I find the love that isn't here to stay...
believing in love at first is wat i always do and break up is the result of it...
am i no good for the people i fell for...
or should i juz dun believe in it anymore

I wish it was enough for you
All the love i had to give
And i did my best
To keep you satisfied
I guess you'll never know
How much i tried
I really tried
And if ever our paths
Should cross again
Well, you won't find me
Neath the one to get lost again

Natelie Cole's SOMEONE THAT I USED TO LOVE




Students Drinking
STUDENTS DRINKING
You're a novelty sign. You like to joke around,
and most likely are one of the intoxicated
college students, this sign is talking about.
You're the life of the party, and when you're
around, everyone has a good laugh.
What's Your Sign?

brought to you by Quizilla

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR<



this is so horrible! so peacefully sleeping after a day of fun.. when suddenly,
outside having so much screamin n firecrackers with all the exploding sounds n
continuous sms-es and telephone calls all coming at the same timin!

MY GOSH!!~ now im damn awake!

ok, im investing like 7% of gardenvista or lakeview.. i like gardenvista.. but is
really ex.. pau said that property very long like still not sold out.. the location
not bad... with all the famous schools around.. ngee ann poly just directly opp..
still got 4 more to go.. so see how it goes...

jiefu put on weight! his face like rounder~~ look better lah!

derek becoming comando!~ n he is so funny when i was tokin to him the other day..
ya, will be goin to pulau tekong! so excited! school trip! haha lame.. but im
goin to grad soon.. so y not?!

yesterday went out with my parents till 2am than come back.. every new year eve
the same.. anyway before that i was entertainin my cousin.. dun even know her well!
hate pple comin over my hse at really funny timin at nite!

erm.. of coz not to mention pau lah~ coz i know her! so is not entertainin!!
still remember her comin over my house at 1+am!!

i miss u alot

..::||i WoNdEr wAt U'Re dOiN, iMaGine wHerE u R, DeRe's InFIniTY SPacE iN bTw uS,
n tAt's VeRy FaR~||::..



   Wednesday, January 14, 2004
went out with my family.. mammy was mistaken as the orange seller!! haha!
so funny! who ask her to went up the platform where all the oranges are to
tok to us.. well, my sis was fierce enough to say that person.. well, but we
had a good laugh after that lah...

journey back home to boonlay was so funny!! paddy said so much jokes in the car!
even my "super-cool" jiefu started laughin so loud! jie laugh till cry! me laugh
until my stomach cramp! mammy was like nothin??

anyway, i simply just love family day lah! i look forward every sun!~

============================================================================

tot myan will be comin over to my class... but now, i guess no more liao...
kinda sad...

i overplucked my eyebrow!! oh no!! this is so shitty!!
erm.. ok liao~~ took my eyebrow liner to test on the "empty" places... ok..
is ok once again!!~

============================================================================

felt so happy today! bought 2 of my books, did my homework with the help of
yong sheng! n of coz, went exercisin with 4 girls n andrew!

saw xueli! so happy! n of coz, dinner with jillyn, shir, hock, tuck.. tuck so
funny! kept disturbin me! say i flirt, bitch... of coz is jokin! then shir
was like, u think anyone can be bitch meh?!

n tuck was like be more bitchy n i will promote u to slut! stupid! buey tahan!
suddenly, hock n andrew was laughin at this.. that kharil said something..
wow siao liao, ah ber flirting sia... just becoz i asked this malay guy wat
was his name?!

============================================================================

thurs??

============================================================================

sch as usual.. realised my 3d modellin not up to my standard... so will be
redoing everything again!

suddenly like make alot of friends?! i also blur?! anyway, alot of ij gals!
went out with zhen, sher, este, gek, sheilla, elson n alex.. everyone really
had a happenin nite this time round!

i n sheilla pushed off this gal off her chair! anyway.. it was a really funny
accident! too happenin! than went to the ah beng ktv... sang till 130am..
n drove to mad monks... became so wanna babes...

tink yesterday too many things happen! ya n not to forget that this guy
have made me so angry over the phone! argh! ok, than found this $50!! all
laughin at next time cannot say sher's got small eyes... spent like crazy
at 7-11... so fun!!~



   Sunday, January 11, 2004
Pink reflection! That's you!
You are the purple reflection!
What does your reflection show?

brought to you by Quizilla

hammered my ring today.. it went far too out of shaped! well, is
round once again! so happy leh!!! i saw him today!! so yandao!!~
so sweet!! so ahh!!~~ cant believe im smilin so hard while typin
this!!~ haha~
*pei in her lala dreams...*

haha, our dearest derek is workin for wat tiger beer guy!! haha!
so funny!! made me tot of those auntie workin at kopitiam..

ok, cant seem to change class! argh! maybe i shld struck to my own
class! if only myan is in my class, i wouldnt be so upset.. i miss
myan so much!!

just finish watchin that shen chin shang goin thailand for volunteer
work.. wow lao.. want to cry..

played my zhong ruan.. is been quite some time. though i also dunno
wat im playin..

============================================================

lesson with khoo was so fun! ok, i was the class rep.. ee.. anyway,
saw the laos photo! haha so funny leh! was askin sir why so many blurs
one.. he was like, u ask urself lah! haha.. my cam really jalat..
anyway~ drawin apple that look like a crater! diana was so funny!
love that darlin so much!

ah... i miss so much pple... saw bei bei, myan, derek, shir n hazel
was more than enough to survive me thru the sch hours...

sch ended so early! 4+pm!!~ so lost... met pau at 630pm plus.. wanted
to buy so many things! anyway, took photos on my handphone with pau!

finally handed that admin card to pau's ex! mission over! case closed!

painted my nails black.. made some poems.. will go shoppin tomolo mornin,
n massage.. =)

=============================================================

saw nuts today! she say i walked like my mum!! facial was horrible!
anyway, flu whole day! day spolit!

not in mood..
1stly, dunno how jason..
2ndly, my problem...
3rdly, internet dial up havin serious problem!
4thly, computer is too OUTDATED!



   Tuesday, January 06, 2004
best of me
the best of mewhich punk love song are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

..::|| the smiles behind this face hides all the hurting words u have said to me||::..



EnErGy
You Are Most Compatible With Milk! The Cutie Pie!
^.^
In Energy, Who Are You Most Compatible With?!

brought to you by Quizilla

i took this quiz SPECIALLY for yen zhen! n who is milk?!

this whole week



my time n shedules abit cock up... this whole week im totally occupy!
ok, maybe i shall say, wats new huh?! im always occupied by i-also-dunno!

anyway, went to toybarz with sher they all! that elson so funny!! laugh until
stomachache! play that card game which was quite nice! due to it, i miss my
last train.. n went pool with them~ so excited to see arcade! n for the 1st time,
i was there to clear all my credits (tokens) coz like closin? anyway, it was
a nitemare! coz is play one, get one free!!~ so there was i tryin to waste n
faster end it, it kept giving me more games! till elson came to my rescue!
n it was funny when she got so excited playin with soccer! (coz dunno how to play!)
n zhen took over me after that.. THANK GOD!!

saw alot of pple! of coz, my crush! make me so happy! see how long will this last..
n i tink hard is also in town that day if im not wrong~ ya, saw wenxiang n his
friends at annex! someone who look so much like shirlee!! my gosh!

================================================

watch scary movie with yan n pau.. wow kao! so funny like siao! laugh until
cramps!! n that super cool face of yan can actually keep laughin!! that is
how stupid that show is! that boxing part and that cpr on branda was the part
everyone laugh till non stop for 5mins!! n stupid pau said something abt the
makeover.. wow lao! yan n i couldnt take it! buey tahan!!~ hard laugh afterall..

went to carrefour to get my blue black dye, cd n a set of inner beauty!~
spent ard $70. went giordano n spent another $85+?! cannot spent anymore!!~
n forgot.. I GOT MY PANASONIC GD88!! honestly, i really loved it alot.. i didnt
regret AT ALL!! though it was a old model.. $298.. ok lah? cheaper than my
8250 n 6510... now the pro is, im lookin for buyers for 6510!~ give me a call
or email me at nyp_pei@hotmail.com!!~ thanks! condition still tip top! those
who know me know that i never have a pro with my hp! so help to advertise k?!

mood was kinda spoilt when 'one of them' called. think yan n pau can see my
mood changed after that long tok on the phone.. screwed up! totally! now i know
why i spent so much on unnecessary things!!

hai, dun tink so much.. will dye my hair tomolo... preparin for next year!

=================================================

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIE FU!!!



meiyanfang passed away... so sad.. ck was the first who start to call me n
tok like crazy abt how sad she is...

dyed my hair to blue black! ok, i do look kinda gothic! maybe im a little bit
TOO FAIR?! weird.. my color tone did change darker! but so many pple said im
so white?! i want to tanned myself! ah bor i will look as if im so sickly~ eee..

my ling zai~ haha.. he does looked like an ah beng now! but he still look so
yandao! n i love him so much!!

went countdown with sher, teck, sheilla, yz, elson, shin, jess, and pau! dunno
why but i tink is my first countdown with her though is not? anyway it was quite
fun esp dinner.. ate like crazy at marina.. of coz, 2 of us didnt pay! haha!

who cares?! poor service anyway! ya, gave our ice cream to the boys next table..
one of them got jess's character! haha!

arcade so fun!! play some shootin game that requires the player to move around!
that game reminds me of rachel.. anyway, knowin that this game will give u a
really horrible leg ache later, i still want to play..

went to esplanade.. lovers' park was "gone" left that miserly small portion..
we had our countdown too early! our fire cracker was alittle bit too early! took
alot of photos of that fireworks, that made me forgot to admire them.. lasted like
10mins.. really perfect!

i wonder how about them? no point makin myself thinkin of them all the time..

anyway, went toybarz.. saw that ck! is like so long no see~ bomberman was fun..
i won! b4 that was 99.. i n sheilla, aiyo! hidden cards all over us..but was
boring, coz too many pple.. everytime only one round.. lucky maybe 3 rounds~

reach home at 530am.. took a cab with shin.. argh.. i miss night rider!

==================================================

outing with my ex classmates were cancelled.. i was total dressed! but nvm,
went out with my parents instead to chinatown! it was fun! honestly, i didnt
expect so much fun with them! i totally enjoy myself! bought 'ping tang hu loo'
havent eat.. waitin for jie to come home n will eat together..

paddy was funny! he drove my mummy to see m.s~ where all the clubs are~ no one!
less than 20 pple? bought alot of deco stuff.. but as usual, i dun like pple
comin to my hse! i will choose to slp at home! this is so standard~

==================================================

went elijah's hse to do that laos project.. my sentosa.. arrghh! im really
kinda sad.. really.. the last time i went was, I DUN EVEN REMEMBER! dunno was
whose bd?! still remember was the basketball court, lost my way with pauline~

aiya~ still sad over it!

watch my monalisa smile with them.. not bad.. oh ya! forgot too add on, i
saw alot off pple! diana n jessica, peishi n one of my judo senior, louey
they all n shin's sis...

finally b4 i start sch, i managed to take my nite rider.. i really love that
peaceful n quiet journey home. i was in my dreamland when i realised is
about to alight.. ah! i hate this!

=================================================

im so gald jason has appear! u dunno how much i missed u!

someone said the first time, the 1st time i saw u, u looked like a party girl.
is that good or bad? well.. at least not ah lian~ or paranakan or malay?
sch tml... hai~ sian~

=================================================

make 1 friend only! for the 1st time, i was so excited about sch! saw so many
pple!! had my first national edu! i cant believe im havin this kind of lesson at
the age of 20!!!~

oh ya, melvin is my classmate! haha things are so unpredictable.. he used
to be just my irc friend since i was in sec 3 or 4?? after 5 years, he is my
classmate!

..::|| When you think the world has turned it's back
on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.||::..